me...still me...

have a very very good friend..
until we can feel how each other's emotional..whether happy
or sad.. just like me and my mom[sort of].. he treated me like
his mom[weird??]..i'm glad that i know him.. made me realized
i dont' really have any real friends that can talk ''heart matter''..
maybe is i'm having too many things..hard to have time with friends
.. guess..i need to re-evaluate myself.. Hmm..alot of things happened
these few weeks..unbelievable,unacceptable.. again i wanna say..
Time to grow up..



something bothering me..i dunno what.. just don't feel good..
something is blocking my mind..i dunno what.. don't feel right..
something is making me feel bored..i dunno what..
something is making me acting weird...i dunno what..
something seems like not right..i dunno what..


learning to smile..
trying to smile..
pretending to smile..
learning to cry...
trying to cry..
crying...

i just feel really bored..bored and bored.. something really

bothering me..and i really dynno what..dunno what to

write anymore...

still searching..................

luv,ming

the path of life..tiring..

yesterday, Hong gave a very serious speech to us.. Is serious but is true!!
Guess like he said, he is upset to see our attitude and behaviour..
every single words he said..hit my heart and knock my head..

i have alot confusion of feelings..and dilemma.. guess alot of things in my
mind recently.. trying to be strong.. am i now?.. hard to answer that..
but i'll be.. sometimes, don't really what i'm doing is right or wrong..

i was....
lost myself.. trying to find..
but couldn't find..
tired of fighting..
but have to fight..
tired of not being trusted..
but have to let go..

and now..
lost myself.. trying to find..
will continue to search for it..
tired of fighting..
will fight till the end..
tired of not being trusted..
will be the best of the best..

HAD Modern Dance Exchange Meet..

21 March and 22 March.. our HAD Modern Dance Exchange Meet..
Perak, Pahang, Penang, Johor, Muar,N.Sembilan [i hope i didn't
miss anyone].. First of all, thank u for everyone every single one
that attended.. thank u for all PICs.. thank u..

i finally saw him from near.. just only every year CNy only will
get to see his performance.. Jia You ooh..!!! then i met this guy..
found him very cute and funny somemore his middle name
same as me.. so he called me 'jie''.. guesss i got one more bro =)
another good thing is the dance workshop.. Damn syok!! cuz
long time never lead aerobic and dance by Hong.. and the song
is damn good!!! Wah, syoknya!! hehehe.. hehehe.. wahahaha..
ahhaha..

i learned something..ppl from other states always thought KL
dance members are the best.. so, all HAD members must
work hard for that.. whether we are the best or not, pls be humble
for that. becuz is very obvious to see from one's face whether u are
humble or not, confident or not.. and i also realized something..
besides, our normal practise.. i long time never meet so many
ppl and get to know them [not all ler.. actually..=) ] or maybe..
guess i have not much friends..pathetic,right?

anyway, Congrats to all HAd members and all modern dance
members of all states.. Jia You!!!

luv,ming

i have a dream..

have u ever dreamt about something bad? something good? something sweet?
i had a dream..days later..months later..years later..same scene happen in front
of me.. and i'm sure that i've dreamed that before.. weird,right?

everyone have a dream.. to be this or that.. to have this or that.. to get rid of
this or that.. To me, my dream: to be a better person and help ppl..
Every steps we take is hard, this is y they said:"there's no free lunch in this world"
Guess that means we need to work hard if we wanna achieve something..
This is a simple theory of life but everyone of us couldn't do it..Why?

My car back mirror was broken due to the hot and cold weather.. My colleague
was surprised that i was cool/steady when i saw all the small pieces on the car park
.. Guess i'm getting to understand.. There's nothing u can do if something already
happened.. or recently alot of incidents happen.. i'm forced to react that?? I don't
know about it.. This is what i really wanna work hard.. Work hard.. Feel bad.. but
i'll work hard.. i'll do it.. i'll stand still.. i won't fall...

2010... walking towards.. looking forward... 2010...
We are coming.. We are.. Be well prepared..

luv,ming

i'm glad..keep fighting...

have u ever think that.. what if u didn't meet this person?
what if u never been there? what if u never walk in to that place?
Well, if there are so many ''what if'' in your life then i wanna ask:
u got nothing else to do by just sitting there and thinking what if
this and what if that?

I'm glad i'm still alive..i'm glad i'm my mom's daughter...i'm glad
that i'm a Soka Gakkai member..i'm glad that i'm keep fighting here
.. i'm glad that i joined HAD.... and i'll continue to think that.. becuz
i'm glad to be who i am...

No matter how many bruises u have after practises..no matter how
late u work till..no matter how mad u are..no matter how tired u are
.. no matter how happy u are..no matter how lonely u are..no matter
how many problems u are having now.. no matter how... U are U..
this is the fact that never changed..this is the reason for u to be here
.. that's the way it is.. that's LIFE.. may u never forget that..

All i wanna say..i'm fighting..and i'll keep fighting..

nitez..

luv,ming

one day..

someday somehow...u might realize..u are not yourself..maybe just for awhile..
heard 2 nice songs few days ago.. watched a nice and funny drama few days ago..
not happy with something few days ago.. this week is a weird week to me.. don't ask
me y.. i couldn't answer that.. maybe..i couldn't find someone to talk..so i'm here now...

sometimes..i'll just cry in the car when i'm going home from work.. i'll cry on some sad
songs.. i'll listen to the same song keep repeating all along my journey home.. don't know
y i cry..guess i'm not working hard enough for myself.. not enough for my work.. not
enough for my parents..not enough for someone.. voices inside my head.. one struggling
to be better..another one is trying to be lazy.. maybe, that's life.. maybe that's y we are
living for.. maybe that's y we are human being.. maybe..maybe... we are meant to
remind ourselves to be hardworking in everything.. fight for what is worth to fight for
.. create memorable moments everyday..every second..every minute..just like what
we did for our dance concert.. we all fight till the last..and is not the end of the show,
is just the beginning of it..

one day,u'll find how beautiful is the world..how glad u should be to have everything
u are having now.. and i'm glad to have everything and everyone with me here..
and i'm telling that i'm still fighting for it.. i'm not a loser and i'm winning every moment..
i am...

may i never forget.. glad to be myself...


luv,ming

sigh..

sigh.. if u ask me y.. i couldn't answer u.. guess no one will understand
or even try to understand.. sigh... really heart broken cuz she will never
understand me.. no one like to stay back late.. work till eyes pain..
who cares?????? sorry to be mean:work till die also no one will care
or even have a look.. guess this is the cruelty of this world/this society..

sigh.. don't even try to envy others.. cuz there is no reason for u to be..
besides keep quiet what elses can we do?........answer:NOTHING!!! i'm so fed up
with things around.. cuz i'm not hardworking enough being a human being..

sigh.. nothing elses can say.. all i can say is.. keep it up... again...
sigh....

luv,ming